das wandern

let me continue in peace, and (stop) wander(ing)!

a verylong week

with 3 comments

on monday, i started language school. every day, i sit in a tiny orange room for three hours, with three other students, as our teacher points to every sort of plastic doll and animal, kitchen utensil and household object.

(in swahili, pointing.)
“this is a bird. this is a bird.”
“this is a girl. this is a girl.”
“where is the cutting board? where is the cutting board?”

its a bit tedious, but i’m very thankful for the opportunity to learn language.

on saturday, i went with eunice and john downtown, to see the riverside boys. massai spotted us first, and came running, grinning. its the first time i’ve seen that boy since i took this photo of him in july 2009. since then, he’s been in jail for at least a year, but has escaped.  i’m amazed at how tall he’s grown, and how much more mature he seems. he ran to gather some other boys, and soon there were 9 of them there, talking excitedly to eunice, and holding my hands in turn.

she told me later that several of them were arguing over whether or not i was the same mzungu who “sat in the dirt with them and took all the pictures.” apparently, i can’t be that girl, because my hair is now short.

it was sweet to see the boys, but broke my heart as they asked eunice if we had forgotten about them, if we didn’t love them anymore.

there has been a lot of difficulty and discouragement in the ministry lately, and no one is now visiting the boys, or sharing any food with them. in fact, its been almost a half of a year since ministry there has stopped.

i’m eager to learn swahili, and to meet with others whom God has given similar hearts, to see how we might move forward.

as john and eunice and i were on the way to visit some other friends, a car in front of us stopped suddenly, and we also stopped. unfortunately, the matatu behind us did not stop, and read-ended our car. we spent the next few hours going from police station to police station, explaining what had happened.

i won’t lie: tonight i’m feeling discouraged. living on a compound is difficult for me. even more difficult is the absence of community. of those people whom i know, and who know me. whom i trust deeply, and who trust me. people who desire to live lives not of quiet desperation, nor of selfish comfort, but of sacrificial love and deep  communion.

i know our lord said  “fear not,” but i’m afraid here. afraid that these struggles are in vain, and afraid somewhere along the way i’ve made some wrong decision that he can’t or won’t redeem and make good. afraid that i will lose whatever it is that drives my heart, and that my heart will become hard.

i believe; help my unbelief!

Advertisements

Written by knsayres

January 24, 2011 at 12:20 am

Posted in Uncategorized

3 Responses

Subscribe to comments with RSS.

  1. I notice you left off the “if you can” – you, straigtforwardly, said “I believe”. I know that all who read and will read your post went immediately, as I did,to prayer for you, for your support and encouragement and that your heart and hopes be lifted. At this point, all may seem for naught, but… there will be – not maybe, but will be that time you will know the direction He has set for you and you will hear His voice. Meantime, we are walking beside you in your journey. The boys love you and so do we. I saw the sun shining over your shoulder as you sipped your coffee – God loves ya, too.

    Richard H Day

    January 24, 2011 at 1:16 am

  2. Dear Kristen,

    We are praying for you on a daily basis. There ar about 100 people here at Calvary Baptist, Winston-Salem that have been to Kenya. We meet often and you are on our prayer list. There are days were it seems everything goes wrong, but our God is in control. “Lean not on your own understanding………”

    I will be going to Malindi and should arrive there on Feb.5. If you get this and have a cell phone email me your number so I can call and say Jambo.

    Chuck Peters

    Chuck Peters

    January 24, 2011 at 9:14 pm

  3. Hi Kristen
    I am praying for you, Eunice and the street boys. I know the Lord will continue to show you His plan and use you in remarkable ways.
    I can’t imagine how difficult these changes are. We serve a mighty God who is able to comfort and keep you and show you day by day what the next step is for you in Kenya. Your pictures and your blog have blessed me and I’m certain you are blessing those you are with each day.
    Doreen Reid

    Doreen Reid

    February 23, 2011 at 12:20 am


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: