see this boy? he has a crush on me. i think he wants to marry me.
but see, it’s not going to work out between us.
reason 1. his last name is smith.
reason 2. he doesn’t like u2.
reason 3. he only wants to have 2 kids.
reason 4. he’s addicted to the internet. i feel it’s really coming between us.
reason 5. as i type this, he’s alone in his apartment. with another girl*.
so yeah. it’s officially over. (although, i have to admit, it never really began.) i thought everyone should know. maybe you could call him. comfort him. tell him everything’s going to be all right. he probably needs a hug right about now. or maybe just some eprops.
*names have been left out entirely to protect the potentially innocent.